HOLLYWOOD – Anatoly Ivanov, popularly known as the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robot, announced through his publicist he will appear on the next season of Dancing With The Stars. Ivanov, agreed to come out of retirement in order to generate cash for his struggling friend Arnold Schwarzenegger.
“Arnold was always there for me, putting my head back on every time that idiot knocked it off,” Ivanov said while attending a drag show in Santa Monica. “He’s gonna be needing some cash real soon cause I bet Maria’s gonna be taking him to the cleaners. So I’m doing this for Arnold. All the money I make from Dancing With The Stars is for him.”
Ivanov hasn’t appeared in public since 1997 when he suffered an embarrassing loss to Marsha Brady in a cage fight.
“She knocked my block off,” Ivanov said.
Ivanov continues to dispute rumors of an affair with Tom Cruise, although the two were photographed together on a Cancun beach in December 2010.
“What. A guy can’t have guy friends?” Ivanov asked. “Oh, and I didn’t know they were having a drag show in that club. I thought it was a sports bar.”
Ivanov said he has begun dance classes and resumed the grueling training schedule he adhered to during his Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robot days. One of his friends who spoke on the condition of anonymity said Ivanov recently completed a year-long treatment program for substance abuse. The red robot became addicted to prescription drugs to treat neck pain.
“You remember how he used to always get his block knocked off,” his friend said. “But he’s doing great now. He’s clean, and this show is going to be really good for him. I think his fans are going to be excited to see him again.”
Ivanov would not comment on whether Cruise would be in the audience to cheer for him.